Camping Lessons

I'm 'camping' on the camping theme for another day. I came up with some valuable lessons - all of which happened to me and I wish to pass my knowledge on to you!

1. Do not go camping if there is the slightest chance of the tail-end of a hurricane around (even if the weather reporter strongly doubts that it will hit the area). This may cause you to: spend the night in your vehicle, or sleep with total strangers in their tent, or even sleep on the floor of the shower-block.

2. Do drink plenty of water when camping in the summertime. If you only drink beer, you will dehydrate, get constipated and have to spend two days of your vacation inside the tent, in agony, waiting for the laxatives to work.

3. Whilst hanging around the camp-site for your "movement", do not fraternize with other campers. They could be terrorists, plotting to assassinate a governor.

4. Do not let your dog see the dozens of cute little bunnies all over the camp-site. Especially when the lights are shut off at 11pm. Your dog will try to eat and dig her way out of the tent ... all night long.

5. Just because you're camping at a small, rural camp-site at the other end of the country (albeit a very small country), it doesn't mean that you're not going to bump into somebody you know.

6. Do not use baby wipes to wash your hands immediately before putting in your contact lenses ... believe me ... you'll regret it.

7. Unfortunately, no matter how quickly you zip and unzip that door, mosquitoes are still going to get inside the tent - and feast on your blood all night long.

Hope you learned something from my mistakes!